Let’s face it – dating is hard! And there are so many things that go into it. So let’s take a look at some of the different things that go into the psychology of dating and see if we can’t give you some tips on how to mentally “hack” the entire process so you can feel more in control and less helpless and a slave to circumstances.
There’s been many studies done on the psychology behind dating – from body language to expectations to that bizarre inner dialogue that can plague even the most self-confident of people.
Don’t Make Too Many Plans
As if romantic attraction wasn’t delicate enough, don’t risk scaring off your potential dating partner by making too many plans in the beginning. Even simple things such as “we should see that movie together” or “let’s go to that art exhibit next month” can potentially cool off the early sparks of romantic attraction. Instead, let things develop a bit more slowly without roping your partner into too many commitments. Don’t be afraid to show the person you like them, but be a bit mysterious too. It will definitely help fan the flames of uncertainty, which can help spur on a romantic bond.
Don’t Try Too Hard
Ahh, the difference between being too casual and trying too hard. It’s a difficult line to walk, but it’s important. Do too little and you risk your date thinking that you’re lazy. Do too much and you’ll look a bit desperate. Make effort, but make it a casual effort. Show thought, but not obsession. Buy your date’s dinner, but don’t bring her a huge bouquet if you’ve only just met her. Plan out something cute, but don’t rent a limo to get there if you’re just starting out. Save that for the wedding day!
Try Online Dating
If the batch of potential mates at the local pub is starting to all look the same, then you might want to try branching out and starting up an online dating ad with one of the more popular dating sites out there. I recommend that users try Match or OKCupd. These sites have the most serious users, but others have also found luck with Plenty Of Fish and other sites. If you’re going to do the online thing, just keep your wits about you when you potentially meet someone for the first time. Also, ensure that your computer is up to date with the latest spyware and antivirus software.
The thing that’s great about online dating is that you already know what the other person wants – and it’s not friendship. So you’re both on the same page when it comes to dating, which can take a lot of the guesswork out of the first stages of meeting someone – the stage that often gives more shy people the most trouble. If you’re one of those individuals, then don’t hesitate to make a profile and try it out. I always tell people to message others as much as possible, and not to be afraid to reach out to people that look interesting.